lil told a story on wc recently a few heard it but here goes
One day i made dinner a nice chili i grew some of my own fire hall chilies in the garden went to pick some they are are super hot.
i brought them in the house cut them up and put them in the pot .i needed to use the toilet so i did the right thing and washed my hands first i came sat down and my thingy was starting to tingle .
so i went into bathroom got some soap and washed my manhood down 'big mistake' id just washed off the protective layer of oil off my manhood and the burning started i had tears rolling down my face and thought i was going to need to go to the hospital .lil had a old wives remedy 'yogurt' anything was worth a try i was desperate for relief .but what a sad sight me sat on the toilet with my manhood in a pot of yogurt oh the ignominy of it all oh the pain but it worked like a charm

One day we went ice fishing. It was a beautiful day and we were driving my brand new truck that I drove off the lot the day before.

We had all our gear in back and my friend pulled out a stick of dynamite to blow a hole into the ice.

He lit the fuse and threw the dynamite as far as he could.

Well my border collie upon seeing that thought we wanted to play so he took off after the stick of dynamite.

As he was coming back with the dynamite in his mouth he had a real confused look on his face because we were all yelling and screaming at him.

He was really confused as we were chasing him so he ran beneath my new truck. He came out but the dynamite stayed.

My truck is now at the bottom of the lake and the insurance would not cover it.

* I also told this story on wc and since they loved it, I'll share it here *

One night my two nephews, who are brothers, slept over my house. They were 3 and 8 years old in this story. In the morning we were playing on the bed. Then the older brother tells the younger one "smell my butt, it smells like bubble gum". Little man's eyes lit up and he was so excited. He crawled over with the happiest look on his face to his butt. I mean smiling and all. He gets there and the older one farts in his face.

The older one and me were dying and the poor little one only said "it doesn't smell like bubble gum". We died even more. Never saw a kid so disappointed.

* They loved this one too on wc *

So the same older brother, who is about 10 years old in this story and my nephew, slept over. I had some plumbing issues with the hot and cold water in the shower so finding the right temperature was difficult and I would have to adjust it for the kids sometimes. So he is in the shower and yells out my name. He asks me to make the water hotter for him.

I stick my arm in by the shower curtain and start adjusting the water. Next thing you know I feel this warm water hitting my arm. Can't be because the water should be spraying over my arm and not hitting it. I look at him and there he is cracking up while peeing on my arm.

Good story's thanks to all that contribute.

I guess my best stories come from memories of high school. At the time I'm writing this I graduated about a year and a half ago; this upcoming June will mark two years already. It's impossible to wrap my mind around. For me personally nostalgia hits me like a shot to the gut. When I think about the past I usually get emotional inside thinking about how good life was back then compared to now, and how I desperately wish things could be the way they used to.

I wouldn't say I was like everybody else when I was in high school. I barely hung out with anyone outside of high school until about junior year once I got my license and could drive. All of my memories of high school come from online. They stem from hours upon hours upon hours of sitting at my family computer with Facebook open in one tab, music open in another (usually Spotify's then-working web player or on iTunes), and the homework I should've been doing on a third tab. Or hours upon hours of playing Call of Duty 2 on the PC as well. All that stuff happened almost entirely during my freshman year (2012/13). I'd always come home, plop myself on the computer, open up everything I was going to "need" () , and then spend the majority of my time scrolling on Facebook trying to find anything to amuse myself or messaging friends. I had gotten into Linkin Park that year as well, so most of the music I listened to while I scrolled through Facebook was them.

A lot of the content on my feed back then was sports, Linkin Park posts (I was really obsessed with them back then - still am now but it's different), memes to entertain myself, and of course everything my classmates were up to. But 2012 and 2013 were a different time - much, much different than today. There were hardly anything back then that resembled the "dank memes" of today (which I frankly detest). The memes I saw on my feed back then were genuinely good, funny stuff about football teams or dumb pictures of dumb things occurring lol. People were different back then as well. 2012/13 was a time when girls actually put effort into their profile pictures on Facebook (as opposed to today), and when people posted literally anything on Instagram and didn't really care (now it's all about appearance). Back then I was restricted to using my first phone by my parents, and I'd get it for two hours at the end of the night before I went to bed. I have so many fond memories of text conversations I'd have with friends on that phone (which I still have and which still works and has everything saved on it). I have fond memories of the new friends I had made then - I met my best friend named Nicole and towards the end of my freshman year I became good friends with a distant cousin of mine at perhaps the most unlikely of places: a funeral! My cousin and I would text so much over the next month or so, but unfortunately our friendship began to dissipate by the end of 2013 and by the end of sophomore year I couldn't really say she and I were friends anymore.

I have fond memories of my best friend and I from that first year of high school. Our first and last names are very similar and as a result we'd always be right next to each other in every class we'd have together. Our lockers were side by side too. That first year we had health and gym together - great memories. Those two classes are so memorable to me simply because we became such good friends during them. It's unfortunate to say that now, 5 years later, my self-consciousness and anxiety are getting the best of me and causing me to fear that our friendship is falling apart now that we're in college. And in case you're wondering, yes, I have had stronger feelings for her ever since I knew she was my best friend.

I guess that's just some of it, and I apologize that this write up isn't really concise - everything's jumbled up, really. It's been now 5 years since I started high school, and I'm now in my second year of community college. In all honestly college has lowered my self esteem significantly since I graduated high school, largely because I miss my friends and am seeing everyone else succeed while I slowly figure out what I want to do with my life. One thing is for sure: high school was the greatest four years of my life and I'm convinced they will remain as such for the rest of my life. The in-school memories I made between 2012 and 2016, and of course the people I met, I hold very, very close to my heart. Thinking back on those memories brings me mixed emotions of both extreme happiness and extreme sadness.
These are the best stories I have, and it feels good to be able to get them off my chest and share them with people. Thank you to all who read this.

---

*An honorable mention: The summer of 2012, between when I graduated middle school and began high school. I got my first phone for my birthday in May of that year, and that summer is when I first discovered Dogfight. I played it a lot that summer, along with the Minecraft and Brothers In Arms apps as well. About a month or so before I started high school I tried out for the football team, although it never got any farther than that. I couldn't understand much of what was going on, and I dropped out after a few weeks.