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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 8 months ago #115878

  • Paul Mantz, Jr.
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For the new folks that may have never read this adventure....

www.dogfightplay.com/index.php/forum/2-g...art=0&start=28#61068
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 8 months ago #115879

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OK let me try! :)
Here i am 19 yr old teen living in Melbourne, Victoria.
Bored as hell at home, it's about 6pm. Luckly 2 mates came over awesome.
Hmmmm... what to do right? :unsure:
We'll got it! Finaly brilliant plan. Destination................ ;)
First thing i did was to make a quick call to another mate Ralph. Top bloke. B)
Anyway i said "hey Ralph u wanna go out?"
"Sure" he replies.
I told him to get dressed Nice and luckly i got to him before his sisters did otherwise he would of gone out with them instead.They made an offer to him just after i spoke with him over the phone.
We rocked up at his house just over half an hour. Man was he dressed, best shoes, best trousers, best white shirt, (giordani or something like that), the most expensive purfume he had he used. He was going out to impress the ladies. yup!
He gets in the car with 6 cans of beer in his hands, looks at us seeing we were averagly dressed and asks "where we going?"
Ofcorse I go to him and siad "have a beer ralph, leave it to us, never u mind, sit back a relax"
Hmmmmm.... but Ralph is a happy go lucky of a chap. So off we go.........
1hr later he pops the question, r we there yet? Drink u're beer Ralph relax.
2hrs later we pull to the side for a slash, before we get going again.never u mind.
3hrs later Ralph's finished his beers and we're all asleep except for the driver.
Time goes by and we finally wake up 6am in the morning, cloudy, overcast with a drizzle of rain.
Ralph looks out the window only to see S.A. number plates, totally diffrent state (we use VIC plates) God was he shocked.
As we pulled over near a jetty, Ralph looked at me. Yup! u guessed it. Fishing. Why didn't u tell me he asks?
Ralph loves fishing but it wouldn't be fun to tell him that at the begining would it?
He loved the fishing trip kinda. Very well dressed for the occasion. Didn't even catch a fish on the day.
The funny thing also was Ralph's sisters were intreged as to where we took him out, so well dressed.
A 12 hour trip cought nothing but a wonderful memory.
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 8 months ago #115887

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Big c I love it. I to have a boat at the button of a lake thanks to friends :( , yakuza thats kinda the way we would plan our trips. Bt Ray or Ricky always got to be the butt of most f them, Ill share one that really pist Ricky off sometime. It envoled meeting his female cousin for the 1st time and didnt know who she was...... Till next morning. :woohoo: very funny... And Paul I remember that story a very good one thanks
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 8 months ago #115888

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Dr Dave wrote: Ok all you pups gather around while Dr Dave tells you a story. one time a long long time ago the good Dr Dave took a 4hr drive with BatMan at his side. Yes that winged Avenger himself......well almost... :unsure: .... It was a cold rainy night in Youngstown Ohio I had just picked up a load of paper going to Shity-cargo it was about 3am and i had to fly. as i pulled up onto I-80 i hear a thud!!! :woohoo: ..As i look around trying to see what i had hit i see this brown paper thing stuck flat to the outside on my mirror. I thought nothing of it at first but then i see this tiny claw.... :huh: .... I had been hit by a BAT it was stuck there on the mirror, Well i knew it was dead the impact alone would have killed it, but it got me to thinking, thinking about all the poor critters ive nailed in such fashion over the years. :) ..By time i made Cleveland i was thinking about the time i hit a owl, poor ol hooty, the thing almost came though the windshield.... :woohoo: ..... Totally Wasted that pair of shorts.. :ohmy: .... By time i made Detroit i was remembering a road trip my buddies and i were taking to ElPaso to go check out the........whor.. :huh: .....HORSES... ;) ... thats it we were going after Horses :P Hey i hadn't yet meet MISS DOC ie the BOSS. anyway... as we were running along I-20 out of Pecos Tx we see this snake going cross the road ahead of us. looked to be about a 6ft Rattlesnake so i took aim and BAM Nailed it... :) ....and flipped it right up and into the side window which yes was open in the 100* heat of the day... :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: .... Well turns out was only a VERY PIST OFF NOW A 5 1/2 ft BULL SNAKE but hey, I didnt like that car anyway as we all 4 bailed when it cleared the window, the car was his... :whistle: .. and you wouldnt believe how hard asphalt really is at 60... :( ... But by the time i made the Indiana state line i was thinking about Bambi the deer i hit just outside Cuba Mo. WOW what a mess, I was getting passed by another truck we were running about 60 when the truck next to me hit his brakes hard, and in that instant a big ol 6 pointed stepped out from in front of that truck into my path. as i hit him i remember thinking the look on his face was that of relief that he had missed the 1st truck then horror of realizing he wasn't gonna miss the 2nd truck :woohoo: I held firm and it was over in less than a second. $3500 worth of deer meat shoot out the back... :sick: ..to bad that nice lady was following to close behind me.. I bet it took her all day to wash him off her car... :sick: .. anyway by the time i made Shitty-Cargo i was remembering the little brown road guest i had stuck to my mirror, I thought, you know hes come this far and never even asked to stop and pee. I thought id give him a proper burial, He did after all bring back so many fond memories thats the lest i could do, right? So i pulled into the T/A at ex 6 and started rolling down the window, when as i came to a stop he slowly slid down the mirror like ice melting off a window, but when he reached the bottom he didnt fall away he was hanging on.. yep, he was still alive and trying to get his bearings, After a few moments of fluttering without so much as a thanks for the ride, he flew off. Now all the way im thinking this little guys dead, But now im thinking i wonder what HE was thinking all the way... DOES THIS GUY EVER STOP TO PEE??? It makes you wonder. But there it is my trip with BATMAN i hope you enjoyed it...I did.



Bingo You win at a road kill Bingo.
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 8 months ago #115928

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I just enjoyed the stories above. (I knew I wanted to savor them.)

Wonderful! Thanks guys!

If you'd like,
I'll share my story....of when Herald Herald MANFRED KILLED KILLED my first love....My ETHEL.



$http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uy_8hB3s3ig&sns=em
(remove $ and keep it)

Now we know why he's such a GREAT BARTENDER (and drinks are FREE!)

THE BEST LINE GOES TO......drum roll....FIREWORKS!!!....YAKUZA!


........."Didn't even catch a fish on the day."
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STORY TIME..... Do you have one? 10 years 8 months ago #115970

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This is a story of one of the crazier fights I've been in. I don't condone fighting like this -- which is why I prefer controlled sparring (e.g Krav Maga, Boxing, Jui Jitsu, Muay Thai, etc). Many people remark I'm one of the most laid back men they know. Just throwing that out, I don't want anyone thinking I'm a warmonger or that I intentionally provoke fights, heh.

Now, lets tell the story.



>Be me
>Senior in high school, last few weeks of school
>Only fighting experience I had at this time was a bit of amateur American Boxing, "body boxing" among friends (hit anywhere but the face) and some real standard Krav.
>After school
>Talking to a group of friends who've gathered, mainly hanging out with my best friend who we'll call "Swede" (he was a Swedish exchange student)
>Everything going well, getting ready to leave
>Ex-GF's brother comes up to me, we'll call him "Blue"
>(We were all still great friends, things just didn't work out with his sister, hahahah ;) )
>"Hey man, can you do me a favour?"
>I could tell it was pretty serious, "Definitely. What's up?"
>"There's these guys who keep messing around with me. They wont leave me alone, can you talk to them?"
>"Yeah, for sure. Just stay here, talk to my friends." and I introduced him to them all
>Turn around, approach the group of guys
>Three of them, 6'0, 6'2 and 5'10. One's pretty skinny, one's muscular and the 5'10 guy is stocky
>I however tower over them at 6'4 at the time
>*assertive voice* "Can you knock it off with my friend over there? I don't want any trouble."
>"Uhm -- y-yeah man. Sorry, w-we didn't mean anything. Just jokin' y'know?"
>"Water under the bridge, my friend. Take it easy." and I gave them a nod and made my way back
>"There you go, Blue. They should leave you alone, just don't hang around too long."
>"Thanks man, I owe you."
>Blue leaves, carry on my conversations with friends
>Look up after Blue made his way outside at the end of the hallway
>See the group of three running down the hallway; after Blue
>Thinking I had left
>Bad move
>I charged down the hallway, out the doors and burst through the large crowd that had already formed
>First thing I see is Blue, on the ground being punched and kicked pretty hard by the three guys
>Sprint at full speed and tackle the group; full on tackling one -- kicking another in the side off
>Immediately back on my feet, I charge the nearest guy who already has his fists headed my way
>Hook him with a left in the kidney and deck him square across the jaw and a final left jab to the sternum
>He's down, clenching his gut
>Turn to the second -- stocky guy
>Over his shoulder, I briefly see Blue still being wailed on by the more muscular guy of the group
>Side step and approach the stocky guy
>This guy jabs, gets me real good in the shoulder
>With the fury of a thousand suns -- just begin striking the guy and finally performing a knee strike which throws off his center of gravity, bringing him to the ground
>He's getting back up, disregard and try to get to Blue
>Suddenly out of nowhere -- a close friend of mine jumps in the fight with me
>He's a hockey player, no stranger to a good fist fight. We'll call him Puck.
>He rips the muscular guy off Blue, Blue tries getting away
>Puck and I begin tag teaming and cutting these three guys down
>I mean, completely laying waste to these guys -- this part is a complete blur of strikes, punches, dodging and getting socked a few times
>The only particular part I remember was when I seemingly barely jabbed a guy in the face -- and felt his lip bust. Felt like a rush of warm water all over my right fist
>Finally two were down for good while Puck held down the last guy
>A large 50+ person crowd had formed during this fiasco
>Teacher whom I'd never seen before, rushes in -- nips the three guys
>Blue is limping with a black eye and busted lip, his sister rushes him out before he's snagged
>Someone in the crowd tosses me my bag
>Puck and I give each other a nod
>Everyone exits the crowd and splits
>Swear at myself the entire drive home thinking I'm going to get arrested
>But I couldn't just let a good friend of mine get jumped like that either


Next Day:


>Stay on the down low throughout the day
>Word got around. Some people staring at me. Even a few teachers got word of the asskicking from the day before.
>Hear things like, "Holy crap. I saw what you did yesterday. You looked like...a completely different person out there. Everyone's talking about that fight." or "We knew you trained and stuff but -- nothing like that. You're so intense!"
>This freaks me out further
>Contemplate leaving early
>Sitting in my Anatomy & Physiology class with my best poker face with a million thoughts rushing through my mind's eye
>*intercom* "Can you send *Slenderman* to the principles office?"
>"S%&!, S*#*, #@*(#@&%#@%*!!", I thought
>Couldn't believe how stupid I was for thinking I could dodge this bullet
>Millions of thoughts jumping in
>Future looking pretty damn bleak :lol:
>See Puck at the end of the hall
>"OH MAN, WE ARE SO F*@#()%"
>(me) "Lets just get this over with."
>Arrive at office
>Apparently Blue and his sister were already there along with the three other guys. Everyone gave their story but us.
>Principle: "Alright, come in. Sit down."
>It's the principle and three assistant administrators
>Serious business
>"I heard what you men did yesterday. Pretty brutal, judging the injuries..." (which I later found out to be a busted lip, two broken ribs and a chipped tooth -- Puck and I just had a few bruises and cuts) "..but I want to hear your stories."
>Puck turns to me, can't put together words. Too nervous.
>(me) "Well, our buddy Blue came up to me after school. Said a group of three guys were bullying him, so I went over and asked them to knock it off. I was assertive, but not aggressive. They seemed to back down and everything was fine. Then they proceeded to go outside and began holding down Blue and beating him up while he tried defending himself. So I jumped in, knock a few of them down to end the fight. Puck jumped in halfway through and helped me. We made sure the three were taken away by a member of the faculty and we all made our way home."
>"And Puck, you agree with everything he said?"
>"Yup."
>"Well, I reviewed both of your records already. You're both clean and squared away guys. I have to really thank you for your actions yesterday. Blue was on his way to seriously being injured if you both didn't intervene when you did. Could have been a giant lawsuit."
>Puck and I look at each other in shock, are we seriously getting away with this?
>"If you guys ever need anything -- and I mean ANYTHING. You come straight to my office and I'll help. I don't care what it is, I owe you both one. Now lighten up! You're not in trouble."
>"Wow! Thank you!", Puck exclaimed
>"Yeah, thank you very much! Now what about the three guys and Blue?"
>"The three have been suspended for the next two weeks. Blue will be suspended for a day."
>"What?!"
"Yeah. Turns out he was calling one of them a queer or some s*&#, hahahah!"
>Can't believe the principle is swearing and laughing at what happened -- this guy always appeared REALLY uptight and strict with the rest of the students
>We all begin chatting and having a great time
>Leave an hour later, carry out our day
>Every time we saw the principle from there on, he always gave us a respectful nod which we always returned
>The rest of the year went by swimmingly.


And that's the story of one of the crazier fights I've ever been in. Again, I don't condone fighting in anyway.


But c'mon. Every man loves a good fight story -- I had to share!
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 8 months ago #115979

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yakuza wrote: He loved the fishing trip kinda. Very well dressed for the occasion. Didn't even catch a fish on the day.
The funny thing also was Ralph's sisters were intreged as to where we took him out, so well dressed.
A 12 hour trip cought nothing but a wonderful memory.


Reminds me about one thing happened way too long time ago. I had a couple of good friends and we were going fishing on my friends granpas fishingcabin. One of the guys had just started dating a girl who had a couple of good looking friends who werent dating at the time. So we decided to ask those girls with us. Girls werent on fishing very much so we were thinking some other methods to get them going with us. We told them about nice villa wich was owned by my friends rich grandparents. Almost like mansion. There were nice big porch for sunbathing and a jacuzzi etc... Youll get the picture.

When we arrived those girls were dressed nicely. When we had to leave the cars and carry our stuff about a mile trough forest, those girls might have been thinking maby that mansion is not very big. We took several breaks on that walking and enjoyed our "liquid lunch". When we arrived our driver was allready quite drunk so there was no way back. The "mansion" was small cabin with only one window, in the middle of moskito filled swamp. Lake was muddy with very little water on it. There was only one room in the cabin and on the backwall there were two narrow bunk beds with 3 beds on both of them, filled with mice poop. And there were no shower or anything like that and the toilet was... You guessed. Anywhere outside.

I enjoyed that weekend with my friends and those beautiful girls. I cannot remember cauching any fish. My friend is married to one of those girls but they havent been on that cabin ever since.
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 8 months ago #115992

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Slenderman loved it, It's memory's like that, That make us who we are. I myself have been though many fights some with friends others with soon to be friends, But always good memory's. Thank you. And onsekone your a Horney little bugger aren't you? :) Thats ok, This coming from a guy who used to hit the Texas/Mexican border every weekend with friends to chase girls that really didnt NEED to be chased ;) Im lucky i never picked a STD down there because we there all though high school almost every weekend :) Thanks
I could care....But I dont
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 8 months ago #116177

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I shared one of my fight stories (in short) on the Zimmerman thread. I came out with a skull fracture, the other guy barely came out... He had a crowbar, my gun was in the truck. 17 yrs old and playing with fire.

Good story Slenderman.

Enjoyed our chat Dr Dave. Some of the funniest $hi-/- I've heard in a long time. 'Specially about the large lady in the bathtub... Yikes :pinch:


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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 8 months ago #116178

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Jacklpe wrote: Enjoyed our chat Dr Dave. Some of the funniest $hi-/- I've heard in a long time. 'Specially about the large lady in the bathtub... Yikes :pinch:


What?? I want to hear this!!!

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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 8 months ago #116180

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onsekone wrote:

Jacklpe wrote: Enjoyed our chat Dr Dave. Some of the funniest $hi-/- I've heard in a long time. 'Specially about the large lady in the bathtub... Yikes :pinch:


What?? I want to hear this!!![/quote

That one may be too heavy for dogfight... Dr Dave may kick my butt for bringing it up on here. :ohmy:

I'll let him tell it if he wants to...



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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 8 months ago #116196

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If u don't mind i'ld like ta hear the story too, maybe u could pm onsekone and me ?
Thanks!
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 8 months ago #116206

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I'll be busy today but get it on here soon, and Thanks, Hey Jack did you make Tennessee ok?
I could care....But I dont
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 8 months ago #116213

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Dr Dave wrote: I'll be busy today but get it on here soon, and Thanks, Hey Jack did you make Tennessee ok?


Yes sir. I spent the night just north of Manchester. :evil:

I'll finish it up this afternoon, then back south we go.

Man it got hot again all of the sudden. I was enjoying 75 degree weather in mid July. My a/c was blowing 40 degrees :) I've always said that Alaska would have been a lot more appropriate than Florida ever was when I left home to seek my fortunes...


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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 8 months ago #116216

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AND THE FAT LADY SINGS (Well Kinda); In the early 80's i took a break from truck driving and went back into the nursing profession, was working on my RN license and was working as a orderly on the psychiatric ward. anyway one night we had a lady that passed away in the bath tub. Now you'd think, so what a dead naked lady right? But this ol gal was 5.1 and weighed in excess of 450lbs and was in the bath tub in a very small hospital bathroom. Well she had to come out we couldnt just leave her there, (or could we?) No she had to come out and before the family got there the next morning, that was about 2hrs away. So we called for help from other wards and ended up with 8 people and a body horst, this will help, (we thought) We got her strapped up and lifted out of the tub after about one hours work, Remember shes BIG and naked as a jay-bird and only 3 of us would fit in there with her at one time, So it was work, But we got her up and moving out the door as we were patting ourselves on the back for our ingenuity and a job well done. The hydraulic jack on the horst gave way and exploded spraying oil everywhere. It was like a oil grenade this crap went everywhere and she went to the floor PLOOP And something you should know about people when they pass away. Their normally full of poop, Thats right the stuff NOBODY wants to see,hear,smell or know about. So when she hit the floor she unloaded like a Civil War cannon firing a canister round it went form one side the room to the other and up the legs of 3 unfortunate misplaced helpers. It was BAD i mean BAD in a UNHOLY kinda way. And now she was all oiled up and we were all oiled up and it was like trying to grab hold of a greased pig, It was just dead weight (no pun intended ) and we had to not only get her back up on the bed so we could get her ready for family we had to clean the room and all this while covered in poop and oil. That night goes into my things i hope to forget before im dead file because it was by far one of the most disgusting things ive ever had to do. We got her done up before the family got there but we sure had to work at it. It kinda makes me think the small portions you get when eating at a hospital aren't such a bad thing after all. God knows we would have been happier had she had a smaller meal or two. But thats the story of the Fat Lady in the bath tub. A Nightmare that will live forever. ( EAT YOUR HEART OUT FREDDY) :)
I could care....But I dont
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 8 months ago #116335

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:ohmy: Fat oiled lady unleashing her full load all over three volunteer who happened to be in wrong place...

On some strange way I would like to see this. But I'm glad I didn't. :sick:
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 8 months ago #116347

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onsekone wrote: :ohmy: Fat oiled lady unleashing her full load all over tree volunteer who happened to be in wrong place...

On some strange way I would like to see this. But I'm glad I didn't. :sick:


as i said it was one of the nastyest things Ive ever had to do. I'd rather be tied up naked for a week with my mother-in-law than go though that again... It was awful..... I will still sometimes have dreams of that day and wake up feeling like i need to shower. Dont get me wrong I feel for her family they lost a loved one but man if they only knew how she went out.... :S I hope when my time comes its not in a bath tub and if it is i'd say bury me in it.... I would.... :huh:
I could care....But I dont
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 8 months ago #116417

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So how was your night's sleep?

A cow has fallen on a man, crushing him to death and injuring his wife in an extraordinary incident in Brazil last week. The Brazilian victim was called Joao Maria de Souza, 45, and he was killed when a large cow fell through the roof of his house, landing on him and his wife as they slept in bed.

A cow has fallen on a man in Brazil crushing him and causing him to die from internal bleeding.(Photo: YouTube Screen Shot)A cow has fallen on a man in Brazil crushing him and causing him to die from internal bleeding.

The cow is reported to have weighed upwards of a ton, and was grazing in the fields in the south-eastern town of Caratinga at the time. The cow was walking around the fields on the hills where Maria de Souza's house was located when it wandered onto the flimsy roof of the house.

Tragedy struck when the roof buckled under the weight of the huge cow, and the animal fell on the sleeping couple, landing on the victim's side of the bed as they slept.

The man later died of internal bleeding caused by the weight of the cow landing on him.

The victim's brother spoke to a local newspaper, angrily blaming the amount of time it took for him to receive proper medical treatment, saying: "Being crushed by a cow in your bed is the last way you expect to leave this earth. But in my view it wasn't the cow that killed our Joao, it was the unacceptable time he spent waiting to be examined."

The cow was later reported to have escaped from a nearby farm located near the victim's house. It wandered off, grazing in the hills nearby when it wandered onto the man's roof.

Despite the extraordinary sounding nature of the death, cows falling through rooftops in Brazil is not altogether uncommon, and various similar incidents of cows falling into people's houses have been reported in the past.

Authorities are continuing with their investigations. The victim's wife suffered no serious injuries in the incident.


I guess the idea of building a fence is MOO...t.
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 8 months ago #116511

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WHEN TIRES MEET PAVEMENT; The other day I was in Houston making my way around town to I-45 towards dallas I was on the 610 W/B almost to my exit when Im past by a tanker hauling Propane now is no big deal theres alot of them out there, BUT! Today as we run along there about 60 +r- I had noticed the signs saying road closed ahead due a Major Accident at I-610 and I-45 as we came around the curve after us59 I could see my exit and the stopped cars and trucks ahead (Brake lights everywhere) I could see my exit was still open and I could make it ok, BUT. The tanker had yet to slow down he's still running hard at 60+ headlong into this stopped traffic. Now Im thinking this is gonna get ugly real fast real soon, Thank God i was not going to be here for this, But as I hit my exit I see this guy hit his brakes HARD!!! Now he's smoking all 18 tires and praying he can stop ( I know this because Ive been there to ) anyway as he get to the stopped traffic he takes to the shoulder at this point i hear a loud POP when 2 tires and the back blow out this was lucky for him because it acted like he'd thrown the anchor out and slowed him at much faster rate after it was all said and done he did get stopped before hitting anyone but it cost him 2 tires his pride and most likely a seat cover a pair of pants and you can forget about the underwear because that would have been one big fire ball to be sure.
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 7 months ago #119454

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WRITE A HOT CHECK MOMMY; When i was about 6 mother took us kids to the Piggly Wigglys in town now being a small town this was a big deal back then, When you could go to school the following Monday and tell your friends you got to go to Piggly Wigglys over the weekend. and it was even better if you had a new toy or some thing to show as proof even a candy warper would work. Anyway there we was in this big ol store(not much bigger than a convenience store today) shopping i was getting to walk and sister was in the cart. I was the lucky one cus i could get up close to things and give them a good looking over b4 asking mom if i could have it.(She always said no :( ) but i could ask... ;) and ask i did. Now sister she was asking to ALOT :) and mom was thinking maybe it would have been better to left us at home with a sitter, but here we was all the same. :) Now sister took a liking to a dolly up high on the shelve and started asking for it. Mom said no and we moved on, now sister being Daddy's little girl wasn't used to hearing the "N" word and didnt take it well, :angry: so she started asking why not? and as kids will do crying.... :ohmy: (like THAT ever works....) this went on for awhile till mom stopped and talked to sister, she told her that there was only enough money to buy food with and if she bought the Dolly she'd have to write a hot check. So did sister want to eat or play with a new dolly? :huh: talk about a Kodak moment. :) Sister looked at mother as if mom had lost her mind and said with a straight face....Play with a new Dolly... DUH even i at 6 could see that answer coming.... :) Mother dont to be out whited by a 4yo said maybe ill buy it later if i can. this seemed to work because sister shut up (which to this day is rare ) so as we finished our shopping and headed to the check out i could see sister eye-balling that dolly back there on ale 4 when we had everthing checked out and was ready to pay, the clerk asked mother if there was any thing else? Before mom could say a word sister sounded off,,, My Dolly... Mother told her again we cant afford it right now as she handed the clerk a check for the groceries. Just then i could see it in her eyes just as mother could see it coming and there was nothing she could do to stop it... as little sister sounds off WRITE A HOT CHECK MOMMY..... The place went silent..... you could have heard a pin drop.... :ohmy: as the clerk looked at mother and said something Id never heard anyone say to mom before, and it went thur her like a ice cold wind it sent chills down the spines of every there that knew us and mother. The clerk said May I see your license as she took mom's check... :woohoo: this did not go over well but mom complied and we got home with the groceries as mother put things away sister was still carrying on about the Dolly when Dad got home. Mother took sister to him and said with a calm face, we need milk can you go get it and take her with you... :evil: Mother figured why should she be the only one to enjoy shopping with sister.... :whistle: And sure enough when Dad returned home Without a Dolly he said why did they ask to see my license today??? Mom smiled and said ask sister.... :evil: :)
I could care....But I dont
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 7 months ago #120752

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I've never had any trouble going shopping with kids. My older daughter is 8 years old but first low-blood-sugar-and-wants-candy-rage is yet to come.

But about a year ago she started talking about new bike. In Finland Jopo bike is extremely popular among 10-20 year old girls and you can see some boys also driving those bikes. Jopo is good quality, all steel, made in Finland bike wich comes in allmost all colours. But those bikes cost an arm and a leg! And money doesn't really grow on trees nowadays. Anyway we went to bikeshop to try that bike but she was always a bit too short to reach bedals. That gave me some time to figure out how to get my hands on one of those bikes in right colour and reasonable prise.

Then I found this from garage sale close by.


It was wrong colour but the price was really low. About 100$. Tires were busted and it had been left in rain for looong time whitout maintance. So some parts were a bit rosty and chain was jammed.

After getting home I made complete dissassembly and shopping list. Bike needed only new chain, bearings on front wheel, new innertubes, one reflector and ringbell. Price of all those parts was about 30$.

After dissassembly I sanded lightly all painted parts and took them with my car to local car repair shop. (My car was also there for painting after smallish accident) Then I took my daughter to paint shop where she could pick a colour she wanted from about tens of thousands colours... It too for a while. Paint cost another 30$. Then I went to another place where they print anykinds of stickers and asked ones for the bike. That was 5$.

After painting and reassembly we had a bike my daughter had been dreaming. And total cost wasn't even one third of the price these bikes cost. The colour is a bit brighter than what the factory uses so you can say this bike is a custom model...



Oh boy, she was happies kid on earth after we finished with that bike.
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 7 months ago #120756

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onsekone wrote: Oh boy, she was happies kid on earth after we finished with that bike.


The bike looks great. It's easy to see why they are popular. It looks really comfortable nd easy to ride for people with all levels of athletic ability. It's always cool when it works out that way.


Contact The Jolly Roger at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 7 months ago #120811

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The bike looks great and the do-it-yourself gifts will last forever in the minds of your kids. Great Job
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 7 months ago #122007

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Mishap with land mine

During my military service I once had to take my platoon to train the use of different types of land mines, explosives and ied’s. (Yes we train ied’s also. They make a lot of bang for a buck.)

When we arrived the area our drill instructor was already waiting for us. I had met that guy a couple of times and was going to try my best not to “rub elbows” too much. That guy was a total jerk and his head was good only for keeping his helmet up. Anyway when we arrived and I took care of formal matters and guy hands me a self made map where he had marked spots where to put those mines. That guy wasn’t very talented on drawing either. My 5 year old daughter can draw better maps. With her left hand…

There were different types of claymores, different types of anti tank mines, anti personnel mine, explosives, artillery shells… You name it. But what happened next was something I wasn’t expecting. DI hands me the whole mess and says we have 15 minutes to get it done. And during that time he will be having coffee break in his car.

I: Sir. My boys are not familiar with these mines and even I haven’t seen them all outside books.

DI: Every mine has instructions sheet following. Use them. There is a pair of boots on the back. Have them filled with timber and rocks and put on the top of mine.

I knew I was in a lot of trouble! What could I do? I split my platoon on smaller groups and tried to make sure that all the groups had some clever guys on it. Don’t get it wrong. Every one of those guys was trustable and could get a job done but some were young and inpatient. And after a few weeks you learn to know how to group them. Then I showed places for each group and gave fast instructions what to do. When Finnish soldiers got first new antitank weapons at the end of WW2, they translated German user’s manual 20 yards from enemy tank. Now manuals were Finnish and nobody was shooting at us so I thought we’ll make it.

Next ten minutes I did my best to run from place to another to make sure everything is going safe. A bit earlier I found out there was also a live fuse following every explosive. That was a stunning moment when I noticed one guy had already installed the fuse and basically that antitank mine was ready to go! It took me a couple of minutes and one extra round to collect all the fuses away. We were not going to use them anyway because all the mines would be exploded with remote control.

Nobody died and mines were ready so we draw the electric wire to safe distance. Then DI showed on place again. With sugar from donut on his lips… He took remote control and blew up mines one after another. Then we had to clean the place and carry target dummies back to car. I went to DI’s car to finish some paper work and wait till everything is ready. DI watches on the back of his car and freezes. I could see he is doing his best to think something.

DI: Why there is a pair of broken boots on the back of my car?

I: Don’t know Sir.

Then it hit me like a shovel on face. Someone had taken wrong boots from DI’s car!

DI: You s.o.b! You just blew up my f***ing boots!

I: No Sir! You just blew up your f***ing boots! (he was the one holding controller)

I had to use each and every muscle of my body to not to laugh! And when we were safely on our car it took almost 10 minutes till I could speak again and tell the others what just had happened.
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 7 months ago #122008

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Hahaha that's hilarious Onsek!
https://photos.app.goo.gl/3Aj5cS2yr1O2fenK2
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 7 months ago #122152

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You gotta love it...
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 7 months ago #122210

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Dr Dave wrote: You gotta love it...

"Love it" would be understatement. Even if I knew there were wrong boots, I think I had given the remote to him. Even if the boots were still in his car...

That evening my superior officer asked about the training and I could do nothing but tell the truth. We were lucky to be still alive. I had some sleepless nights afterwards thinking, what if something went horribly wrong?
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 7 months ago #125275

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Many of you know I travel for work, pretty much every week. One time, I got a little behind in booking hotels, and I wound up having to stay in a really dumpy place. It was a motel format, with rooms facing out toward the parking spaces. My window and door looked out on an empty space, because it was a handicap space. I've stayed in some dumpy hotels, but this one was the pits. Normally I'd relax in a chair and throw off my work shoes. But the carpet in this place looked so grimy, my plan was to keep the shoes on until I went to bed. And maybe leave the shoes up on a chair. Checked the bathroom, and yep, a few roaches ran for corners when I turned on the light.

I love the outdoors, and my daughter and I trounce around in horse crap most every weekend. But I can't stand people dirt -- rotting food, grubs in garbage, that city sewer smell, and roaches in hotels.

Anyway, part of my routine is to call my wife when I get into a hotel. So we were talking on the phone, me pacing near the window while talking on the cell, still in my work shoes, and the nasty carpet was the topic of our conversation. I barely noticed some movement outside my window, which had the curtains drawn but they were threadbare and lights could be seen through them. I had just started noticing flashing lights when suddenly a loud authoritative voice in the parking lot yelled, "You! Drop the phone! Down on the ground, NOW!"

Half thinking he was talking to me, but half picturing a dozen cops drawing on a perp standing outside my window (with me on the phone behind him), I dove for the carpet face first. Screw the grime, I was hugging the floor and whatever lived there. A cockroach ran across my hand, and I was hoping nothing would find my face. Beyond the window, I could hear scuffling and more shouting. Eventually it died down. The curtains showed flashing, but no shadows of people, so I peeked around the edge of the window and saw the cops loading a handcuffed guy into the back of a cruiser. The whole time, I had been giving my wife the play by play, and she didn't appreciate the part when I peeked out. Nooo, stay down!

This has now become a joke with some of my friends who know the story. When they see me with a cell phone on my ear, they point straight at me and mouth "YOU! DROP the phone! NOW!"

Manfred
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 7 months ago #125354

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I love it Manfred I've been in those motels before and I agree sometimes the view out the window is by far better than what's on TV.... :woohoo:
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STORYS......... Do you have one? 10 years 7 months ago #125359

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I have a really dark story...My mother used to live in this weird part of our city that was some weird high school urban planning project and the students were allowed to design the entire complex and all the layouts of the homes etc., well even though the houses were great the complex attracted some really weird people. Some were normal some were criminals and some were STRANGE! Well my mother went into her back yard one morning and found this piece of meat-looking thing and when she looked closer it had hair on it! It turned out it was a piece of the man next door's skull that he had blown off with a shot gun earlier that morning...Creepy!
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