when does that ever happen

07/March/2018

Corporate lesson :

Jack and Max are walking to the church for the Sunday prayer..

Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.

Max replies, “Why don’t you ask the Priest?”

So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, “Father, may I smoke while I pray?”

The Priest replies, “No, my son, you may not! That’s utter disrespect to our religion.”

Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.

Max says, “I’m not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try.”

And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, “Father, may I pray while I smoke?”

To which the Priest eagerly replies, “By all means, my son. By all means. You can always pray whenever you want to.”

Moral of the story

The approval you want depends on the way u ask for it!!

HERE YOU GO

16/March/2018

thought you guys needed a laugh

Dognamitt wrote:

Fake News.

A drunkard woke up one morning deeply repentant after a bitter fight with his wife the previous night. He noticed with dismay the crate of beer bottles that had caused the fight. He took it outside and started smashing the empty bottles one by one onto the wall. He smashed the first bottle swearing... "You are the reason I fight with my wife!" He smashed the second bottle... "You are the reason I don't love my children!" He smashed the third bottle.... "You are the reason I don't have a decent job!"... When he took the fourth bottle, he realized that the bottle was still sealed, full and cold. He hesitated for a moment and said... *"You stand aside, I know you were not involved!"*

[NLR] The Blue Fighter wrote: A drunkard woke up one morning deeply repentant after a bitter fight with his wife the previous night. He noticed with dismay the crate of beer bottles that had caused the fight. He took it outside and started smashing the empty bottles one by one onto the wall. He smashed the first bottle swearing... "You are the reason I fight with my wife!" He smashed the second bottle... "You are the reason I don't love my children!" He smashed the third bottle.... "You are the reason I don't have a decent job!"... When he took the fourth bottle, he realized that the bottle was still sealed, full and cold. He hesitated for a moment and said... *"You stand aside, I know you were not involved!"*

. . .

LOL

hilarious

- How was your job interview yesterday?
- well, I entered the office, found a man sitting on a large black leather chair with feet resting on the table....
He pointed towards his laptop, asked me to take it and go outside, then come back and try to sell him the laptop..
he thought himself as actor Leonardo Di Caprio of "The wolf of wall street" movie..
So I took the laptop and left..

- left...!! Then what?
- nothing 30 minutes later he called me up...
begging me to return his laptop to him
coz all his work and important documents were in it.....
so I asked him: *Will you buy it ??*

I was at my urologists office the other dayfor my twice annual visit to check up on my enlarged prostate, You guys over 50 can relate, I took off my pants for the procedure and asked the doctor where I should put them, he said "just put them over in the corner next to mine"

23/Apr/2019

06/May/2019

A blonde teenager, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman"

She started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"

Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint brushes and everything she would need was in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"

He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"

The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've been getting by email lately."

Later that day, the blonde teenager came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" the startled husband asked.

"Yes, she replied, and I even had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her along with a $10.00 tip.

“And, by the way," the teenager added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."

11/May/2019

12/May/2019

14/May/2019

26/May/2019

02/June/2019

03/June/2019

04/June/2019

26/June/2019

27/June/2019

Boss: So tell me young man, on which occasions have you realized that
you are important to our organization and the organization cannot function without you?

Employee: Sir, whenever I ask for Leave !